Friday. Just another day. For the past few days, I'm still experiencing pains. That includes chest pains (both sides), back pain most of the time, muscle cramps all over the body, rib pain, neck, more belching, vomiting once in a while, and headaches. I really have no idea what's really going on with me. And as most people have said, "It's all in the mind". I think it's easier said than done. How can you stop thinking about it if you kept on feeling it? But as much as I can, I'm not minding them at all. I'm just living my life and trying to do all the things that I have to do. I guess I'll just have to wait for the "illness" to be severe enough for the doctors to find out what it is.
As day goes by, I'm kinda preparing myself for what's to come. Yes, I think of Death. I've never been this prayerful and faithful to God, always asking for his guidance and strength. I am now enjoying every moment of my life. The breeze that I feel every morning, the birds singing, every chance that I get to talk with my family, EVERYTHING IS A TREASURE.
Oddly, while I was jogging a few days ago, my tears started to fall. Thinking that sooner or later I'll be gone in this world (still doesn't know when), I'll be leaving my family behind. As much as I don't want to think about it, thoughts are still kicking in. I really love them so much and I still want to spend more time with them. I still want to make my parents proud, I still want to joke around with my sisters, see my Ate Tin's baby, see everyone starting a family and as for myself, I still want to travel around the world, be a professional photographer, meet that special person, go sky diving, ride a train in Japan...simple stuff and yet starting to get vague because of what's to come.
We'll never know when's the time. All I know is we have to live everyday as if it's the last. When that time has come, God's call, I'm going to miss everyone. I'm going to miss my family, my friends, the people who's been part of my life, my experiences, the things that I've done, the laughter and sadness that I shared with everyone, the problems that I've been through that made me a stronger person...I'll really MISS EVERYTHING.
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