It's been almost a month now since this "illness" started. Kinda getting used to it and once in a while, still makes everything frustrating. As always, I woke up again, early in the morning, pain in my arms and legs, seems they've worked 24 hours.
I think I'm getting better, when it comes to my mental state. I'm no longer depressed or anxious. The medication helps a lot. Tomorrow is my 2nd session with my psychiatrist and we're going to have a "heart to heart" talk again.
I'm really grateful with my family and friends. They keep on praying for me and hoping for my fast recovery. They even suggested a few things that could help me cope up with the depression and stress, that I'm no longer having. I can also do now the things that I was able to do before. In short, I'm in a better state than I was the first week this started. Pains are still kicking in once in a while.
I had a whole body massage last night thinking that this might be muscle cramps. But then again, obviously this morning, the pain is still there. Oh, and I'm still having headaches once in a while. Kinda getting scared about it though. Hopefully it's now a brain tumor or anything like that.
My back and throat is hurting right now but not that severe though. My neck hurts too. Maybe the bionic masseur is the culprit for it though I already had this even before the massage. Eyes are getting tired too once in a while. Having this "pounding" feeling at the back of my eyes once in a while. Around twice or thrice a day. Belching is also added to my daily routine. And I mean burping a lot. Like twice or thrice every hour and I really have no idea it it's normal.
Again, this is a blog and documentation of what's happening with me. So this blog would be really be MORE about me and definitely MORE rantings about my pains. If you're kinda getting tired of all the rantings, just press the "X" button at the upper right corner of your window. :)
Hmmm. Let's talk about the only good news that I have. I'm gaining my weight back. I've said for the past weeks that I've lost 10 pounds in a matter of 2 weeks, and now, I'm gaining it back. I'm on my way to 60kg again.
Starting from here, I'm gonna talk about my reflection for the day. It would be most likely about life and death.
Have you ever questioned yourself when are we going to die? What if we die young and wouldn't be able to reach our dreams? I've been discerning about these questions for the past few days and still searching for an answer, though getting bits of input everyday.
A friend told me that I've already accomplished a lot for a 20 year old. I already started working when I was 18. Graduated when I was 19. Then immediately started to work regularly after graduation. Been to ups and downs of a relationship. Went to a lot of problems and gone through with it. I've also been to a lot of places. Not that I'm bragging. So thinking about it, I think I've experienced enough, good and bad, in this world and that anytime God decided to take me, I would be ready. At the back of my mind, still doubting, am I really ready? Have I put up a good relationship with God? Have I served my purpose here in this world? Have I been good? Have I done enough to help other people? I can half-heartedly answer yes to these questions and yet, is it enough?
We'll just have to see what are God's plan for us. Again, am just hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. :)
God Bless everyone and have an awesome, blessed day ahead.
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